Post-Surrogacy Blues

Kelly posted about post-surrogacy blues http://justthestork.blogspot.com/2010/12/surrogacy-blues-aka-my-longestpostever.html and it made me think about what we could do to avoid feeling "lost" or empty after the birth of our surro-babies. It's true that a lot of thought and energy is devoted to a surrogate pregnancy and it begins months or more before conception.... application process, screenings, matching, contracts, medications and injections....

After the birth.... then what? The ride is over.

I think we should plan to have a new project to delve into. A project, and maybe a bucket list. Think of all the things you could not do because of the pregnancy and write them down. A To-Do List of FUN!

My list would look something like this:
1. Take my daughter on some roller-coasters
2. Treat myself to a long trail ride (horseback)
3. Go wine-tasting in Temecula
4. Host a Margerita Madness party with every girl I know (not many...LOL)
5. Weekend with hubby in Las Vegas
6. Turn the soil and replant my garden

What will you do when the pregnancy ends?


*Intended Parents reading this can help by sharing pictures of your new family with your surrogate. She doesn't miss the babies, but she wants to see how happy you are together, and she doesn't want to be immediately forgotten. I hope to get weekly emails for the first couple of months, and then I imagine the communication will slow down, and then maybe I'll be included in the annual Christmas card list with a family photo enclosed.

Ready to Pop?

Everywhere I go people comment, "Looks like you're about ready to pop!" Well, yes and no. I had my doctor's appointment this morning and I am measuring 40 weeks, so if this were a singleton pregnancy then we would expect birth to be imminent. However, I'm just 33 weeks pregnant.

33 weeks pregnant. This week I've decided I've reached the uncomfortable stage. It's not really my belly (I can still eat just fine, and my breathing is not restricted, my ribcage feels fine), it's my hips and back. My pelvic bones have separated and the weight of the belly has exceeded my back strength. Standing or walking for more than 10 minutes is uncomfortable. I'm back to wearing my belly/back support brace but only for short periods of time while I'm cooking or doing laundry. It does help.

Sleep. I'm still sleeping well, though I noticed last night that my hips are more pressure sensitive and I will probably need to adjust my pillows. Because heartburn is no longer an issue I'm able to sleep more flat (without the wedge) and I've been using only 3 pillows. One under my head, one between the knees, and one under my waist and belly. Supporting the curve of my waist takes a lot of pressure off of my hip and has been very comfortable. I'll be hunting for a fluffier pillow to take still more pressure off of that hip now that it's getting uncomfortable.

My chiropractor reminded me to keep a swing in my hips when walking because that does help the lower back to stay loose and relaxed.

I weighed 166 today. Blood pressure was 108/62.

Got Heartburn? .....I don't! :-)

I thought I would be terribly uncomfortable by now.... not so! Of course, there's still time. ;-)

With each of my pregnancies I've had terrible terrible heartburn all through the third trimester. With the twins this began mid-second trimester. BUT.... I've had only occasional heartburn in the last several weeks.

The difference? I think it's my diet. I've cut out most of my wheat-based foods (bread, biscuits, muffins) and replaced them with vegetables. I also cut down my refined sugar intake and replaced those cravings with handfuls of plain raw nuts (cashews, walnuts, almonds). In addition to eliminating heartburn my improved diet has corrected my long-term problem with constipation.

Yes, I'm happy to announce I now poop once or even twice a day. :-) And we thought that constipation was a guaranteed product of pregnancy.... I think it's a product of the American diet which is way too high in refined carbohydrates and refined sugars.

Got heartburn? Constipation? Read up on the hunter-gatherer diet and try it for a week.

Appointment Today - Update

I am 31 weeks today and measuring 37 weeks! My weight was 160lbs which is wonderful, blood pressure is fine, heartbeats are steady, etc.

By palpation, Dr. Biter determined that Baby Girl IS now head-down. I have certainly felt a lot of activity on my cervix which I've felt with all my pregnancies when the baby is head-down and wiggling. I've been actively working to encourage the turn and was relieved to get confirmation of the new position.

Some possible tips to try for a transverse baby. This is what I did, maybe it helped, and maybe it was just luck or fate.

1. I immediately (after the 28-week ultrasound) stopped wearing my maternity support belt. I think the pressure across my lower uterus may have prompted her to move above the belt. Oddly, I've had very few complaints about lower backpain.
2. Gentle external version. This is locating the head and butt and encouraging the baby to turn via gentle pressure. Use with caution because obviously we don't want to damage the baby.
3. Sifting. Relax into a comfy chair and jiggle the belly side-to-side for a moment. The idea is when a container is shaken, the contents will settle into the most space-efficient position -- for babies this should be head-down. In Mexico (?) this is a common practice using a second person and the traditional scarf called a Rebozo.
4. Hands and Knees. Spending time doing the recommended cat exercises which strengthen the back will also shape the uterus into a hammock and the natural inclination of the babies will be to turn vertical and on their backs (facing your spine).
5. Spend lots of time upright so that gravity can do it's job. The baby inside it's amniotic sac is still subject to gravity just like being in a swimming pool. It's not an entirely weightless environment so the heaviest part of the baby (the head) should tend to "sink" to the bottom.

To learn more about turning babies start with the Spinning Babies website. Lots of info. www.spinningbabies.com

Good News!

I threw up! Yup. I think I'm sick. My younger two girls had a stomach bug on Wednesday, and my oldest had it on Friday. It's apparently my turn. I'll save you the details. ;-)

I do feel a good bit better now. And I'm thankful for extra chicken broth from last week, frozen in small portions.

The sickness (with the girls) was less than 24 hours, with another 24 hours of fatigue. Nothing serious. :-)

Uncomfortable.

Today is the first day that I've truly felt uncomfortable. I've had days when I strained my back a bit, and days when I was exhausted... but today I feel huge and heavy, stretched, squished, exhausted and breathless. I have to sit perfectly upright, otherwise my pelvis or tailbone gets crushed. If I recline it must be flat on my side. Sitting here now I feel like I can't take a complete breath because my lungs are compressed. Reminds me of my Renaissance Fair days when we dressed in corsets, but at the end of the day the corset came off and I could take a deep breath and stretch my back. Not so now. I can't bend forward and I can't twist sideways.

Half the problem is no nap today. Sundays we go to church and when we get back at 1pm it's time for lunch. Naptime just doesn't happen. So, starting next week I'll be staying home from church to nap. I don't like the idea, but I think it will help.

Today I measure 42.5 inches. It feels like my belly needs to hurry up and grow because I'm pretty sure these babies are squished up against my spine and that is adding considerable to my discomfort. I'd rather be larger in front rather than feeling SO squished.

Ibuprofen During Pregnancy

It's a No-No. A new study has been published showing that taking aspirin, ibuprofen, etc, can cause undescended testicles and future sterility issues for baby boys in utero.

Wow! So often a medicine or treatment is touted as harmless until decades later when it is proved to be the opposite.

Stay safe! If it's man-made, it's probably NOT good for you.



Here is a link to the actual study report published in the Oxford Journals. http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2010/11/08/humrep.deq323.full

And here's a link to the "plain english" version at Channel 4 News. http://www.channel4.com/news/painkillers-in-pregnancy-risk